


Ashamed

by AniRay



Series: Commander [6]
Category: The Handmaid's Tale (TV)
Genre: But I tagged them anyway, Cuz i can, Not even Nick/June
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-04 03:07:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20464007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AniRay/pseuds/AniRay
Summary: She knew him and she liked knowing him.And he loved her...





	Ashamed

**Author's Note:**

> This is meant to be read after Ch. 7 of Commander

She had promised she wouldn’t do this. It was adultery. It was a sin against God. She had _promised_. But…she liked it. She liked _him._ She liked the way he smiled at her. He didn’t smile very much. She liked the way he touched her. It was always so gentle. She liked his laugh and his hair and his voice and his mind.

She loved him.

She knew it was a sin. She knew it was illegal. But they were careful. They were always careful. They didn’t hide in the greenhouse anymore- not since Ofnicholas found out. No, now they would go out to the old soccer field outside of town. Isaac would park and she would get in the front seat with him. Then they would talk. They would tell each other the secrets no one else knew.

They kissed too. She liked that. More than she should. But she couldn’t stop. It felt good to be with him. It felt nice to know someone cared about her the same way she cared about them. And she liked how it felt when he held her close. Or when his fingers ran through her hair. She liked how he tasted like cinnamon gum.

She didn’t know how her husband tasted. She didn’t know what his hands felt like. But she knew his silence. She knew the stiff line of his shoulders. She knew he didn’t love her. But that was okay. She didn’t mind as much now. Because Isaac’s silence was different. And his shoulders relaxed when they were together. And his hands were warm and heavy on her skin. She knew him and she liked knowing him.

And he loved her.

So she let him undress her in the backseat of her husband’s car. She let her fingers ease his jacket off of his shoulders. She had felt his touch and he had felt hers. Touch was nice. It made her feel dizzy and happy and light. But now she was ready to see. She was ready to be seen. By the man she loved. By the man who loved her.

_See no evil._

She remembered that- a little monkey with its eyes covered. But she wasn’t a toy and this sight wasn’t evil. It couldn’t be. This had to be something good. And she thought that maybe Isaac felt the same way. He looked at her like he did. So she didn’t cover her eyes. She didn’t cover herself. She looked and was looked upon.

_And the man and woman were both naked and they were not ashamed._

**Author's Note:**

> I can't do smut for Eden- she's just too little. It feels like child pornography or something.  
But she totally lost her V-card in the backseat of a car. Such a teenage cliche, I know...


End file.
